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Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Response to Carolyn: Why don't friends with kids have time?

This article. I hate it. Its gone viral a couple of times and now it's making the rounds again. And every time I think about all the reasons why I don't like it and so, I'm finally gettin' my blog on about it.... I could not google- 'cry me a river gif' fast enough.... nothing good came up so here is just a picture of J.T. crying:

 So, without further adieu- her is my Dear Carolyn response:

Dear Carolyn,

The more times I have read your annoyingly rude response to Tacoma... the more I wonder what your problem is. Calm down Carolyn. You aren't even a stay at home mom, anyhow!! You rip this person a new one in regards to SAHMs and you are a working mom. I don't know, maybe you did seek opinions from friends/family that are stay at home moms (But, I doubt they had a spare second to call you back). And, the answer you gave to this person is complete CRAP. Crap, I say. 

First of all- being a mom is tough. No doubt about it. It tests your patience and just your ability to stay sane sometimes. I want to stress right now that I am writing this as a stay at home mom, I cannot and am not speaking for the working mother or the single mother. Completely different (and very difficult) ballgames- just so everyone knows where I am coming from. Anyhow- SAHMs spend long, long hours with their kids as the sole person in charge. It's a trying job. It really is. But, guess what!?? I feel so blessed to be able to stay at home. A lot of mothers would LOVE to be able to do that- but they are forced to go back to work when their baby is 6-8 weeks old. And many times leave them in the hands of strangers, really- at daycare. I really appreciate that I have this opportunity.

Now, the reader asked why can't a SAHM find time to shoot an email/text/phone call..... Newwwsflassshh: THEY CAN. It can be done... easily at that. I see all of you other moms on Facebook through out the day... you can't hide!!!! You have a moment to at least email or text even if you don't feel like actually calling for a conversation. You do. They have time Tacoma!! Don't let Carolyn fool you. Miss. Tacoma wasn't asking for a 30 minute phone call everyday- a phone call or an E-mail occasionally is a reasonable request. And the last I checked you can make a phone call or send an E-mail when you are with your children instead of your 'first 10 minutes alone'.

Okay, just one quick comment on the ridiculous argument that you are teaching a language............ Give. Me. A. Break. 

Did you ever, for one second, think that Tacoma has zero experience with children? Many people don't. They have no idea. I for one, had done quite a bit of babysitting growing up. But, becoming a mom was still a rude awakening for me. Never in a million years would I think it would be as hard as it is. Tacoma probably has no clue. And you automatically went hateful, bitter bitch on her. Good job.

On to my next beef with this article... If you are a SAHM- you have a built in helper that comes home eeeevvverryy night and all day on the weekends (that's a typical 9-5er.... but you catch my drift) JACKPOT!!!!! You do have a moment to meet a girlfriend every once in a while for a drink or lunch. And you can go all by yourself. No kids. Free time. I suspect you could also get in a trip to the grocery all by yourself at some point in there as well. Lucky you. 

I think what really got me going on writing this is because I am a stay at home mom. And this article is just...... ugh. I am an atypical stay at home mom because I'm pretty much doing it alone (aside from financially) because my husbands job keeps him out of the country most of the year. And I can really do nothing but roll my eyes at this article. (Oh, and also finally write this blog.) I somehow find time to do things all the while parenting alone. .... apparently this makes me mom of the year. Wow, being a mom is hard. But, trying to justify not being able to do normal simple things not pertaining to your family is silly. Tacoma sounds kind of clueless/naive at the end of her question... which leads me to believe she knows nothing about children. But- she wasn't being unreasonable in wondering why her parent friends can't ever hang out or call etc. Because, they can. 

Oh, and lastly I'd also like you to think about all of the spouses of deployed service members who are stay at home parents. The majority of them are. That sounds like a blast, right? Worrying about their significant other in a war zone- so you and everyone else can enjoy our freedom and happy lives. And on top of that worrying stress- raising kids with very few breaks, if any. Keep complaining.

I won't argue that you make valid points of why being a SAHM is so difficult. You do make good points. But- here is what it is. There is time. This article is full of truths turned into excuses. And you need to go to a spa, or take a xanax or something.  #bittercity

SO, Carolyn. Maybe you could hop off your high horse and maybe the WWW for 10 minutes and E-mail your friend. Or here is a suggestion- since your life is soooo crazy- order pizza instead of cooking dinner one night. You will get a break from a daily task AND make time to call your friend. I'm full of suggestions if anybody else needs any!! I would expect a lot of hate mail for this since so many moms were raving over this article.... but no one reads my blog. So, Yeeaahh. (if you do by chance read this and want to write me a hate post.... I don't care.... you should probably just go watch Nyan Cat on YouTube instead....... That would be way more productive.)

Warmest Regards-


ps... wish i had more cool gifs for this post... but I was too busy doing mom stuff. 


Barbie said...

Hi Shelby--your response to Carolyn is hilarious. I can see both sides, because I think the woman without kids really doesn't have a clue about what a SAHM does all day. But your points are really great--get the heck off Facebook and call your friend, Ms. SAHM, she misses you! And of course I can empathize with you on the traveling spouse bit--a SAHM with a traditionally-working spouse definitely has more free time than those of us who have to pack up the kids for every little errand (at least until the oldest is big enough to babysit, which was a huge game-changer for me, anyway!)

So good job on a well-thought out post. And good job as a Mama, too. Hugs to G!

Shelby said...

Thanks Barbie!! I would like to be more consistent with the blog... working on it!! Glad you like it :)

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

One thing I will say in response to your comments, as I understand both points of view, is that if this Tacoma has this attitude, her SAHM friends are most likely not contacting her because they don't enjoy her company and she's not getting the hint. It may be her, and not her friends kids, that are making the communication and friendship fizzle. Yes SAHM do have the time and ability to contact friends, but if you are not enjoyable to be around because of your attitude towards SAHM and what you think they do all day, those SAHM's aren't going to take their 10 minutes free to all you. For mom's of any kind, I think many would say they are the most precious things to them, and Tacoma doesn't seem to grasp that her attitude towards them may be why her friends aren't calling her..

Anonymous said...

their kids are most precious to them**

Anonymous said...

in all fairness since when was it about the parents and not the children. Every child is different and no parent or non-parent has the right to criticise anyone's individual parenting.
Oh wait I forgot making me a monther has suddenly made me faultless.